i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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