Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
