yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
