We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
