We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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