just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
