My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
