So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
