So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Small penises have feelings too.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
