i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
