Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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