I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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