I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize