had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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