I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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