bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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