your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
