i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
