I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
