This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
