wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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