y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
