I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
