Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My balls are so social today.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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