ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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