you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
