Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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