Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
