quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Randomize
