If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize