I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
