I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You can't special order awesome
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize