I wish you could order shots online.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
