I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize