I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
