They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
