I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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