is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
