he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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