Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
