can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My cat gives me a boner
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's the barista slut.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
