I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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