worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
