I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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