So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
