I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
