I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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