i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize