Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
