If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
