Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
