Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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