Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
