So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
