you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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