I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
