this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
