Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
